We, with a deeper instinct, choose a companion, who compels our strength, who makes enormous demands on us, albeit gently, who does not doubt our courage or toughness, who does not believe us to be naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat us as an equal. This could not be more true in arduous physical tasks.
It is quite intuitive on the part of the ones seeking support or encouragement, to seek an ally who is more able bodied. But toughness lies in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.Hence all the able bodied, seemingly tough, may turn out to be bad choices, if the bulk is thought to be the criterion for selection. Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.How does one scratch/ drill the softness to seek the inner core of toughness?
I guess the common thread/ traits running in tough men/ women are that they generally have a sunny attitude to physical demands. The end points and destinations are farthest from their calculations and even if they are not, they never allow the stress of aim/ objective to fudge the joy of being together till the end.
For the leaders, the ones to carry the load of expectations, the trick must lie in avoiding negativity associated with enormity of the task. The smartness would lie in controlled awareness, a detached involvement but a fiercely tight lid over personal emotions, focus and concentration. The dependents make no bones about the leaning on the tougher ones for constant guidance - a way forward. But how do the tough ones keep their wits about themselves? The every fact that they are under scrutiny to deliver constantly and not drop their guard can work both ways. Either the seemingly tough ones can buckle under the pressure, expose their underbelly and disappoint. The real tough, revel in dependence and the awareness that no minor slip up or laxity be allowed to enter their though process.
They too have their Achilles' heel. They too do not want to wake up eatrly, they too are grumpy early mornings, have their emotional baggage. Their supremely fit looking exterior asks very discomforting questions and the mind injects the usual dose of pessimism and tentativeness. But they learn or have learnt to live through the eyes of the expectant and not their own soft considerations for themselves. They have exactly the same anxiety and weakness. They somehow garner all that is within them to muster enough courage and staying power, to last. Yes, that is it. The staying power ! The murmurs of disapproval for a longer course for running, the inability to take the minds off the task yet to be completed, are all pretty common deterrents to an enjoyable and successful completion. The aches and pains, the cramps and fatigue, generally have a common starting point. More scarily for the tough ones, the murmurs of complaints get more audible and when the support is garnered by the sheer strength of the number in a group, the loneliness gets frightening and the demand to stay rooted in conviction is challenged.
It becomes imperative to quell the murmurs of protest and negativity by distraction and a gentle yet firm hand and lead. A single bad example can really spread like a rash to others. Everyone feels the pressure almost at the same time. The tough ones have the experience and belief to last out a bit longer. Their muscles must hurt more, for to lead the pack you need that much extra. Pain and hurt are inevitable, but suffering through them is optional. The weak allow themselves to be overwhelmed by the enormity while the tough bide time, stay out a tad longer.
For the tough ones, the pain of discipline is any day preferable to the pain of regret of an incomplete task. Look around and remember always, that the cowards never started and the weak died along the way. Make sure they do not drag you down with them. To measure a man, measure his heart and measure the honesty of his efforts.
Carl Jung says, "There is no coming to consciousness without pain." Feel the pain, feel the suffering, it is great for the heart. It is sublime to suffer and feel stronger, later. And about the pain, yes, it always hurts, but after a while, it stops hurting, not because the body stops complaining, but because the signals are not heeded and anyway there is no choice but to suffer and miraculously, it does not get any worse. We actually get used to the pain and it stops hurting.
"I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have."
Leonardo da Vinci, dying words, 1519.
Pray, where do we all stand in our own eyes and in the eyes of God? Leonardo de Vinci was dying then, we still have time on hand, or so we feel. Why not start afresh?
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