The hosts, the hospitality, the hospitals, the hospice and the nhumane humans

1.The HIGHEST common denominator,( as opposed to the" factor" that we have all learned in our mathematics at school) in the friends and families abroad, is their effortless ease in DOING things for the visitors.The common thread that binds them all, without any exception, is the distances they drive to and from the airports, the drives to tourist places, the untiring attitude and the best of the lots is that they do not even make the visitors feel indebted or obliged to their hospitality. Our host in the UK, a bosom friend has been doing it for me , for the last 10 years and never has he flinched from his duty.So have the relations, who take turns to make it convenient to take us around. The reason why i feel so strongly about this particular aspect is that i hate driving, especially in the crowded parts of Ahmedabad and rarely have offered to do the same for my guests, a huge weakness that matches many more in my persona. It is obvious and well-known that you are impressed maximally by what you lack in yourself.Hence, it does not take much to impress me from their end. The host in Canada drove almost one thousand miles in five days and made me feel that he wanted to do more.Ditto for the two gentlemen in USA, who logged in about 1200 miles in the same period. Let me take a bit of the sheen from their handsome work! Their cars are a joy to drive, the road conditions on the motorway beg for more, and the scenic beauty of Canada in autumn and the incredibly beautiful Pennsylvania and Washington D.C. fall colors may have made their task easier. I am almost certain of their collective retort to this text, "Big deal, this is a done thing all over the world." My simple refrain is, " Not here, at least not with me." 2.Baltimore, is infamous for its increasing crime rate and a place not in the top 10 list when one visits the US of A. Though its aquarium can hold a candle to any in the world, an architectural marvel. But it is famous and likely to remain so, thanks to our hostess for a night, at,whose lovely home, we had a sleep over. Forced loneliness coupled with emptiness caused by a sudden departure(demise) of a spouse are almost unbearable and hence unlivable.She lost her husband ( a very handsome, affable man in his late fifties) to the scourge of many in the Western world, a massive heart attack leading to sudden death, in sleep. Sudden deaths have almost "accidental death"connotations.You are there and the next moment.....Somehow, i feel the loss feels and seems ghastly and very cruel. If ever there was a more dignified, determined and graceful loner,then, i have not seen or heard of.The lady is so matter-of -fact, though looks a pale shadow of her very pretty self but the beauty of hers is abundantly resplendent in the dignified manner in which she carries herself.She has a fantastically warm, helpful extended family, but i guess you live your solitude and your memories and nostalgia , very privately. We in India, live in a huge myth, that we have the greatest advantage of CLOSE human interactions and we are very emotional and sensitive.The faster we return to reality that we are extremely selfish, uncaring and insensitive bunch of brutes who become the ugliest when we are faceless, the better it shall be.At least it shall initiate a process of redemption.Not only have we lost value of human lives and their dignity, but even in death, we are crass, crude, callous and uncouth.We have lost our sensitivity eons ago. The realisation is even more evident when i heard this story: After the sudden and tragic loss of her husband, the lady's son also had to leave home for further studies and work.Now those who live abroad are aware of the hazards of living there without a domestic help and the DIY is a given. You wash your dishes and clothes and iron them and clean your cars and dust your house and the list is endless....But the worst is mowing your lawn periodically in spring, clearing your front and backyard of dry autumn leaves almost everyday in fall and the cruelest being shovelling the snow almost everyday in peak winter. The neighbours in her vicinity did not crowd around for a day to show their solidarity or for the support and disappear the next, like it happens here.But sure enough, an Afro-Caribbean next door, took it all upon himself to shovel snow, mow the lawn and clean the backyard of the dry autumn leaves till he is her neighbour.Sure enough, almost every morning when she would open her main door , there would be a bouquet of flowers, freshly baked cookies, chocolates and the works, outside as a mark of care, warmth and solidarity for her-of course, all these sans any name or identity. So much for an aloof or a distant, insular society......So much for the "our values against theirs".....I don't know about you but i am hugely ashamed at what we claim and what we exhibit..... Sure enough, as long as she lives there, she is never going to be alone..... 3.One of the strongest reasons to travel to Baltimore was to renew my ties with an old acquaintance...Old in more ways than one....He is the most dignified 97 year old that has tread ed the planet.Our association dates back to the times when in Ahmedabad, he used to visit my clinic with his wife for regular checks. Now the wife ! If you could ever find another man who quietly allowed the wife, her unruly ways of mismanaging her ailment, then we are sharing a different planet.Diametrically opposite in their mannerisms, as always is the case in long standing marriages, it was a refreshing interaction every time they visited me. Finally, her ailment took a turn for the worse and as is the prevalent health care system, she was declared "terminally sick". For the uninitiated, which includes yours truly as well, the health care system declares an ailing individual"terminally sick", when curative/therapeutic options get limited or actually cease to exist and the patient is then moved from hospital care to a hospice care, purely for palliative therapy.Usually, their stay with the world is then limited to months or weeks. When she was shifted to a hospice care, rather than despondency commonly associated with morbidity, the outlook to life? got only better.What with a nurse dedicated for her care who would maintain impeccable cleanliness and the nurse not only made friends with the temperamental lady, but also leaned how to wrap a SARI around her.The hospice would take care of the routine and medications as well, all this at no cost at all to the patient. When she breathed her last, the nurse was informed of her death.Lo and behold! She informed the close relations to wait for her.She duly bathed and cleaned her, wrapped a neat sari around her for the final time and attended her funeral !!!!!!!! This was just the prelude. The Social counsellor then took it upon himself to keep her husband in better mental make up by interacting with him on everyday basis to dispel loneliness.He would get him books to read and keep him good company till the health care personnel were convinced that the gentleman was in no danger of depression and shall be able to weave back, the threads of his life. The old gentleman has his own set of health issues and has to stay alone at home when people leave for work. He has been given a wrist band which is his emergency care system.At the press of a button, 911 gets dialled, an ambulance van with paramedics reach him in less than 10 minutes.There are special frequency phones provided to him where he could be contacted in the house and can be talked to.Not only that, there is a mock drill carried out on a monthly basis to keep him reassured of the medical help available to him. Talk of dignity, talk of values..talk of USA..... l | ) 1.The HIGHEST common denominator,( as opposed to the" factor" that we have all learned in our mathematics at school) in the friends and families abroad, is their effortless ease in DOING things for the visitors.The common thread that binds them all, without any exception, is the distances they drive to and from the airports, the drives to tourist places, the untiring attitude and the best of the lots is that they do not even make the visitors feel indebted or obliged to their hospitality. Our host in the UK, a bosom friend has been doing it for me , for the last 10 years and never has he flinched from his duty.So have the relations, who take turns to make it convenient to take us around. The reason why i feel so strongly about this particular aspect is that i hate driving, especially in the crowded parts of Ahmedabad and rarely have offered to do the same for my guests, a huge weakness that matches many more in my persona. It is obvious and well-known that you are impressed maximally by what you lack in yourself.Hence, it does not take much to impress me from their end. The host in Canada drove almost one thousand miles in five days and made me feel that he wanted to do more.Ditto for the two gentlemen in USA, who logged in about 1200 miles in the same period. Let me take a bit of the sheen from their handsome work! Their cars are a joy to drive, the road conditions on the motorway beg for more, and the scenic beauty of Canada in autumn and the incredibly beautiful Pennsylvania and Washington D.C. fall colors may have made their task easier. I am almost certain of their collective retort to this text, "Big deal, this is a done thing all over the world." My simple refrain is, " Not here, at least not with me." 2.Baltimore, is infamous for its increasing crime rate and a place not in the top 10 list when one visits the US of A. Though its aquarium can hold a candle to any in the world, an architectural marvel. But it is famous and likely to remain so, thanks to our hostess for a night, at,whose lovely home, we had a sleep over. Forced loneliness coupled with emptiness caused by a sudden departure(demise) of a spouse are almost unbearable and hence unlivable.She lost her husband ( a very handsome, affable man in his late fifties) to the scourge of many in the Western world, a massive heart attack leading to sudden death, in sleep. Sudden deaths have almost "accidental death"connotations.You are there and the next moment.....Somehow, i feel the loss feels and seems ghastly and very cruel. If ever there was a more dignified, determined and graceful loner,then, i have not seen or heard of.The lady is so matter-of -fact, though looks a pale shadow of her very pretty self but the beauty of hers is abundantly resplendent in the dignified manner in which she carries herself.She has a fantastically warm, helpful extended family, but i guess you live your solitude and your memories and nostalgia , very privately. We in India, live in a huge myth, that we have the greatest advantage of CLOSE human interactions and we are very emotional and sensitive.The faster we return to reality that we are extremely selfish, uncaring and insensitive bunch of brutes who become the ugliest when we are faceless, the better it shall be.At least it shall initiate a process of redemption.Not only have we lost value of human lives and their dignity, but even in death, we are crass, crude, callous and uncouth.We have lost our sensitivity eons ago. The realisation is even more evident when i heard this story: After the sudden and tragic loss of her husband, the lady's son also had to leave home for further studies and work.Now those who live abroad are aware of the hazards of living there without a domestic help and the DIY is a given. You wash your dishes and clothes and iron them and clean your cars and dust your house and the list is endless....But the worst is mowing your lawn periodically in spring, clearing your front and backyard of dry autumn leaves almost everyday in fall and the cruelest being shovelling the snow almost everyday in peak winter. The neighbours in her vicinity did not crowd around for a day to show their solidarity or for the support and disappear the next, like it happens here.But sure enough, an Afro-Caribbean next door, took it all upon himself to shovel snow, mow the lawn and clean the backyard of the dry autumn leaves till he is her neighbour.Sure enough, almost every morning when she would open her main door , there would be a bouquet of flowers, freshly baked cookies, chocolates and the works, outside as a mark of care, warmth and solidarity for her-of course, all these sans any name or identity. So much for an aloof or a distant, insular society......So much for the "our values against theirs".....I don't know about you but i am hugely ashamed at what we claim and what we exhibit..... Sure enough, as long as she lives there, she is never going to be alone..... 3.One of the strongest reasons to travel to Baltimore was to renew my ties with an old acquaintance...Old in more ways than one....He is the most dignified 97 year old that has tread ed the planet.Our association dates back to the times when in Ahmedabad, he used to visit my clinic with his wife for regular checks. Now the wife ! If you could ever find another man who quietly allowed the wife, her unruly ways of mismanaging her ailment, then we are sharing a different planet.Diametrically opposite in their mannerisms, as always is the case in long standing marriages, it was a refreshing interaction every time they visited me. Finally, her ailment took a turn for the worse and as is the prevalent health care system, she was declared "terminally sick". For the uninitiated, which includes yours truly as well, the health care system declares an ailing individual"terminally sick", when curative/therapeutic options get limited or actually cease to exist and the patient is then moved from hospital care to a hospice care, purely for palliative therapy.Usually, their stay with the world is then limited to months or weeks. When she was shifted to a hospice care, rather than despondency commonly associated with morbidity, the outlook to life? got only better.What with a nurse dedicated for her care who would maintain impeccable cleanliness and the nurse not only made friends with the temperamental lady, but also leaned how to wrap a SARI around her.The hospice would take care of the routine and medications as well, all this at no cost at all to the patient. When she breathed her last, the nurse was informed of her death.Lo and behold! She informed the close relations to wait for her.She duly bathed and cleaned her, wrapped a neat sari around her for the final time and attended her funeral !!!!!!!! This was just the prelude. The Social counsellor then took it upon himself to keep her husband in better mental make up by interacting with him on everyday basis to dispel loneliness.He would get him books to read and keep him good company till the health care personnel were convinced that the gentleman was in no danger of depression and shall be able to weave back, the threads of his life. The old gentleman has his own set of health issues and has to stay alone at home when people leave for work. He has been given a wrist band which is his emergency care system.At the press of a button, 911 gets dialled, an ambulance van with paramedics reach him in less than 10 minutes.There are special frequency phones provided to him where he could be contacted in the house and can be talked to.Not only that, there is a mock drill carried out on a monthly basis to keep him reassured of the medical help available to him. Talk of dignity, talk of values..talk of USA.....

my US diary

>

<

Leave us (US) alone... | hemant mankad ✆ My US Diary. 1. "Have a safe day.", was the common address heard across airli... 27 Oct (2 days ago) hemant mankadLoading... 27 Oct (2 days ago) My US Diary. 1. "Have a safe day.", was the common address heard across airlines, hotel staff, guides of the tours in tourist attraction places.Contrary to what is the customary "Nice day", the entire US of A is grappling with the insecurity associated with its internal security matters.The perpetrators of the fear must be rubbing their hands in glee and basking in vicarious pleasure of bringing down the superpower to its knees.But still, if the world has to experience a free and and an open society, the Yankees have it on offer on an everyday basis.Uncomplicated and simple for the locals and visitors, everyday life is so lucid and uneventful that it does not even register.After a while, the comforts of a hard earned infrastructure and facilities that are so predictably functional grow on the outsiders and evoke admiration and awe. The common man on the street is open and uncomplicated.He does not sound or act constipated with complexes. The common American and specially the Afro- Caribbean, is loud, garrulous and effusive as we all are in this country. I think it would be in the best interest of the entire world and its economy and progress if the US of A is left alone. I know how it would be perceived by many other die hard US haters, but the greatest weakness of that mighty nation- the consumption and wastage of resources, is great for the entire world.The world grows if America comes back to its old dirty ways of being consumers and users, with scant respect to the outside world and its problems.The dreaded "R" word of recession has changed the behavioral pattern of a common Yankee. Leave them be.Let them be.Leave them alone.They are good.Honestly, they are different and their old ways were great for the new world order. 2.My host in US is a relatively recent immigrant and has yet to make his millions.He is a gentle, hard working American Indian who is sure to go places. It was hugely fascinating to watch and interact with his kids who have been brought up in a society which had a problem of plenty.The older son, a 21 year old graduate in Finance is a brilliant mix of the Orient and the American.The value systems and family ties strongly responsible in creating the fundamental personality traits, he was warm, polite and extremely genuine in his warmth.Having had to desert his nest recently, because of a plum job in a nearby state, it was so touching to see his home sickness and need to stay with his parents and the close-knit family made a wonderful picture in their Indianness. The younger one, all of 18, is like all younger ones usually are.Frank and never shy of opening his mind and thoughts to whoever cares or does not care to listen, he is a fantastically curious mix of still growing and slightly immature yet very endearing persona. He comes across as a man who is aware of what he has to do but has a greater influence of the foreign society.It is going to be a very fascinating unfolding of making of a man who is influenced by the values, ethics and morals of God-fearing, honest and hard working parents and a society that is a little strange for its ways to an outsider.But most heartening is the fact that the mix has made this really good looking kid, a cute little enigma for me. 3.The night at Times Square.... The romance of the star-struck visitors with the Big Apple will have a sizable contribution from the luminous, almost incandescent night at the Times Square. We all have seen and travelled far and wide and it is almost impossible to get affected, impressed, mesmerised or awe-struck by anything , anymore.But either my naivete caught up with me or the brilliance of the lights and the really happy atmosphere at the square,(i guess the latter seems more plausible) left me breathless and craving for more. The very recent addition of fiery red steps in the middle of the square and the sitting area dotted with quaint chairs and tables has added a huge new dimension to spectator joy. The ubiquitous Coke advert, a constant at the Times Square for eons and the glittering, shimmering Broadway hits, prominently displayed in spectacular colors, along with a host of other corporate giants jostling for space and eyeballs cause a light and show, unmatched in any part of the world.The millions of dollars spent for inches of space makes it absolutely mandatory that the creative advertising professionals mix and match figures and artifacts in colors that dazzle and blind the human eye.And boy, how many human eyes! The atmosphere transcends the onlooker into a world which is not only created by the lights, but also the immensely relaxed and happy partners in the area.Cheek by jowl, the human sea even on week nights, is a great joy to be with.The times spent doing nothing, ogling at the latest fashion divas dotting the area and the rich and the famous in their elegant attire, impart a special feeling.The masterly inactivity, of soaking in every little detail is truly engrossing and an experience of a lifetime to remember. The whole experience was made even more delectable by the hot samosas and an aloo tikki chat, at the Times Square from a near by Indian joint.The purists may frown and twirl their nose and raise an eyebrow, but then what the heck,who the hell cares?A typically American ideology. P.S. The samosas and the chaat could have given any authentic Bengali market joint a run for the money...contd....... ... | My US Diary. 1. "Have a safe day.", was the common address heard across airlines, hotel staff, guides of the tours in tourist attraction places.Contrary to what is the customary "Nice day", the entire US of A is grappling with the insecurity associated with its internal security matters.The perpetrators of the fear must be rubbing their hands in glee and basking in vicarious pleasure of bringing down the superpower to its knees.But still, if the world has to experience a free and and an open society, the Yankees have it on offer on an everyday basis.Uncomplicated and simple for the locals and visitors, everyday life is so lucid and uneventful that it does not even register.After a while, the comforts of a hard earned infrastructure and facilities that are so predictably functional grow on the outsiders and evoke admiration and awe. The common man on the street is open and uncomplicated.He does not sound or act constipated with complexes. The common American and specially the Afro- Caribbean, is loud, garrulous and effusive as we all are in this country. I think it would be in the best interest of the entire world and its economy and progress if the US of A is left alone. I know how it would be perceived by many other die hard US haters, but the greatest weakness of that mighty nation- the consumption and wastage of resources, is great for the entire world.The world grows if America comes back to its old dirty ways of being consumers and users, with scant respect to the outside world and its problems.The dreaded "R" word of recession has changed the behavioral pattern of a common Yankee. Leave them be.Let them be.Leave them alone.They are good.Honestly, they are different and their old ways were great for the new world order. 2.My host in US is a relatively recent immigrant and has yet to make his millions.He is a gentle, hard working American Indian who is sure to go places. It was hugely fascinating to watch and interact with his kids who have been brought up in a society which had a problem of plenty.The older son, a 21 year old graduate in Finance is a brilliant mix of the Orient and the American.The value systems and family ties strongly responsible in creating the fundamental personality traits, he was warm, polite and extremely genuine in his warmth.Having had to desert his nest recently, because of a plum job in a nearby state, it was so touching to see his home sickness and need to stay with his parents and the close-knit family made a wonderful picture in their Indianness. The younger one, all of 18, is like all younger ones usually are.Frank and never shy of opening his mind and thoughts to whoever cares or does not care to listen, he is a fantastically curious mix of still growing and slightly immature yet very endearing persona. He comes across as a man who is aware of what he has to do but has a greater influence of the foreign society.It is going to be a very fascinating unfolding of making of a man who is influenced by the values, ethics and morals of God-fearing, honest and hard working parents and a society that is a little strange for its ways to an outsider.But most heartening is the fact that the mix has made this really good looking kid, a cute little enigma for me. 3.The night at Times Square.... The romance of the star-struck visitors with the Big Apple will have a sizable contribution from the luminous, almost incandescent night at the Times Square. We all have seen and travelled far and wide and it is almost impossible to get affected, impressed, mesmerised or awe-struck by anything , anymore.But either my naivete caught up with me or the brilliance of the lights and the really happy atmosphere at the square,(i guess the latter seems more plausible) left me breathless and craving for more. The very recent addition of fiery red steps in the middle of the square and the sitting area dotted with quaint chairs and tables has added a huge new dimension to spectator joy. The ubiquitous Coke advert, a constant at the Times Square for eons and the glittering, shimmering Broadway hits, prominently displayed in spectacular colors, along with a host of other corporate giants jostling for space and eyeballs cause a light and show, unmatched in any part of the world.The millions of dollars spent for inches of space makes it absolutely mandatory that the creative advertising professionals mix and match figures and artifacts in colors that dazzle and blind the human eye.And boy, how many human eyes! The atmosphere transcends the onlooker into a world which is not only created by the lights, but also the immensely relaxed and happy partners in the area.Cheek by jowl, the human sea even on week nights, is a great joy to be with.The times spent doing nothing, ogling at the latest fashion divas dotting the area and the rich and the famous in their elegant attire, impart a special feeling.The masterly inactivity, of soaking in every little detail is truly engrossing and an experience of a lifetime to remember. The whole experience was made even more delectable by the hot samosas and an aloo tikki chat, at the Times Square from a near by Indian joint.The purists may frown and twirl their nose and raise an eyebrow, but then what the heck,who the hell cares?A typically American ideology. P.S. The samosas and the chaat could have given any authentic Bengali market joint a run for the money...contd.......